What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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