i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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