So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
