Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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