Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
