She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
And then my night got REAL pukey
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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