Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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