as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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