I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
