This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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