I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
