i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
