I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
The beer is more important than you right now.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
