you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Oh god it's open bar.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
