I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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