why didn't you poke me back
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
