apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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