I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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