my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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