SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
