She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
