so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize
