Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
