So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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