when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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