looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
