i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
