I'm really into asian looking animals
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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