u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
