It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
