I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
There r osticjed everywhere
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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