its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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