I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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