This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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