I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize