Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
