I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
