like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
