is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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