I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
