That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
