aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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