the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
