Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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