4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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