listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
