i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
