she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You pole danced in your parka.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize