If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
