I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
either way he was missing a nipple.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
