So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
