Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
