I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize