How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
