His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
