I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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