New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
