I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
