sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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