So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
