Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
