What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
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