I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She told me I should be a condom model.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
